Jealousy is a human emotion that has varying degrees that can range from mild protectiveness to dangerously high levels of rage towards your partner.
Jealousy often stems from a lack of self-worth and if you don’t work on raising your self-confidence and loving yourself, it can destroy you and your relationships. There is no bigger turn-off than having a neurotic partner who overacts whenever you look at someone else.
A jealous person who constantly accuses their partner of disloyalty perceives them as being less committed and wants to appear desirable, yet feels unworthy of being loved and unconsciously pushes their partner away. Their imagination is uncontrollable and they have graphic visions of a competitor trying to steal their partner away, which is defeating and unbearable.
The key to dealing with jealousy is to negotiate a set of rules that you can both live with and respect. Below are 10 steps to help you handle jealousy.
- Create a signal that the jealous partner can give when they need some extra support and attention. (Such as raising the pinky finger).
- Set a certain amount of phone calls a day to check in with each other (about 3 is fair).
- Let the jealous partner communicate their feelings and actively listen to them without judgments to help them overcome their fears of losing you.
- Reassure them of all their qualities that make them lovable to you to validate their significance in your life.
- Write a Couples Mission Statement together of your heart values and relationship goals for the next 5 years.
- Express your love with displays of affection by hugging, kissing and eye contact daily.
- Give each other physical, emotional and appreciative compliments.
- Take turns initiating romantic date nights that result in making love.
- Surround yourselves with friends and family you both like.
- If jealousy increases, seek professional help as a couple.