Sensual BDSM Preparation

POSTED ON: Dec 02 2012  • 

To prepare for your sensual BDSM experience, create erotic energy by setting the mood for getting intimate and feeling safe. Gentle and passionate kisses set the stage for trust and connection, which is very important. Adding ambiance with music, candlelight, feathers, finger foods and drinks to heighten all of the senses can enhance the mood for sensuality.

Communication:

Before embarking on any BDSM or power play, be sure to share your concerns, fears, desires, and interests so you can both come up with a mutually understood set of limits and guidelines.

Set up a way to communicate while you are playing to let your partner know how things are going. This is an important aspect of safety and essential to create trust and security. Safe words are used to stop play immediately without hesitation. It’s good practice to use non-sexual terms for safe words to maximize communication. Don’t use words that are sometimes spoken during consensual sex, such as NO and STOP, because these words can be a turn-on in role-play, sex, and BDSM scenes.

For safe words, using the stop light system is an effective way to communicate, where saying green means keep going I love this, yellow means you’re at my limits, and red means stop immediately and check in with me now.

Ice Play:

Sensation and temperature play is a form of BDSM power play where objects and substances are used to stimulate the body for sensual effect. Many couples have experimented with using ice cubes on their lover’s body to spice up their sex life. But you can take it a step farther if the focus is on teasing the submissive by the dominant. And like many simple erotic acts, ice play can be turned into a veritable kinky art form, depending upon how and where you use it.

Sensual Biting:

Most people typically don’t think of biting as a form of sex play, but surprisingly, Alfred Kinsey found that 55% of females and 50% of males reported having responded erotically to being bitten. Whether it’s gentle nibbling or offering a firm love bite, biting can be an extremely passionate and enthusiastic BDSM behavior. It’s important to begin erotic biting gently and use good communication to find what is mutually pleasurable. Some people enjoy the use of teeth, others prefer more of a suction action, and a few enjoy a combination. Because biting has the potential to leave marks, it’s always a good idea to discuss skin marks and areas to bite before beginning.

Sensual Fingernail Scratching:

Fingernail scratching on your partner’s body can be an erotic rush for many people. It’s a wonderful way to stimulate the skin and create unique sensations. You can vary the sensation felt by your partner by changing the pattern of scratching, whether it’s digging into the skin, scratching in a straight line, or in zigzag motions. Remember to discuss scratching limits and leaving marks on your body with your partner.

Sensual Hair Pulling:

An erotic activity shared by two partners is hair pulling. For some, it can be a powerful expression of dominance and submission. When we pull hair erotically, we have to remember to not pull from the end of the hair. For most people, that’s not pleasurable pain. For better hair pulling technique, take your flattened hand and slide it upwards beginning at the back of the neck. Get your fingers interlocked with their hair while your flat hand is nestled against their scalp. When you reach the top portion of their head, grip the hair while making a fist and keep your hand close to their scalp. Now you have a firm hold of their hair, which is close to the scalp. Adjust your grip and the pulling according to your partner’s desire. For more advanced hair pulling, try it with two hands.

Sensual Restraints:

Whenever we tie anything to our partners, such as scarves, belt, rope, or neckties, we have to keep safety in mind. Always check to make sure there is enough space between the restraint and their skin. A good rule is to be able to slip one finger in between the restraint and the skin. This will allow for circulation and better comfort. Also, keep a pair of surgical scissors handy, in case you need to remove the restraint immediately.

Sensual Blindfolding:

By using a blindfold to cover your lover’s eyes, you can accentuate all of their other senses, and it can help both partners to feel less inhibited and more daring.

Depriving the senses, such as using a blindfold to remove sight and restraining someone to remove their sense of touch can heighten arousal. It’s a way to increase the sensations of other senses, like hearing, smelling and tasting during sensual BDSM play.

If you want to bring sensual BDSM into your relationship, you can become Certified in Power Play at:  https://www.avacadell.com/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&view=productdetails&virtuemart_product_id=123&Itemid=388

 

 

 

 

 

The Sessions Supports Sex Surrogacy

POSTED ON: Nov 23 2012  • 

Photo: Asta Philpot, Motivational Speaker, Actor, Singer and Founder of the Astor Philpot Foundation.

The Sessions is an inspirational movie that celebrates sexuality and equates intimacy with disability in the most positive way that I have ever seen. It’s about a 38-year paraplegic man (John Hawkes) afflicted with childhood polio, who lives most of his life in an iron lung that controls his breathing, but occasionally goes out on a gurney pushed by one of his caretakers.

Based upon the autobiography of poet and journalist Mark O’Brien who was assigned to interviewing other disabled people about sex, soon realizes that he is envious of their sexual experiences. He desperately wants to lose his virginity before he dies, so he seeks advice from his Catholic priest (William H. Macy), who reluctantly gives him his blessing.

Sex Surrogate Cheryl is played by 49 year old Oscar winning Actress Helen Hunt who clearly defines the difference between a prostitute and a sex surrogate the first time she meets Mark when she says, “There can be no more than six sessions, unlike a prostitute, I don’t want your return business.’’ She helps him to unload his religious guilt, introduces him to body awareness techniques by touching his naked body and encourages him to touch her naked body until he discovers his own sexual expression. She is professional yet tender, giving the sex surrogacy profession credibility which I hope will impact the mainstream so that people will understand the value of intimacy for the disabled. There is some funny dialog such as when she is sitting on his face and he can’t breath, so she quickly gets off and says, “Okay we will take that off the menu.”

Mark wants to achieve sexual intercourse so badly that his anxiety causes premature ejaculation, yet it is not ridiculed as in many other movies. On the contrary, his sex surrogate is patient and guides him explicitly and honestly until he achieves full penetration, and then she praises his sexual prowess.

So if you want to see an intelligent, insightful movie that educates you on the truth about sexual surrogates, I highly recommend Director Ben Lewin’s uplifting film that I’m sure will result in Golden Globe and Oscar nominations for the Actors and the Director.

For more information on Disabilities & Intimacy, please take a look at my course that I created to help educate people. It includes two short video documentaries on Asta Philpot (18 Minutes) and Carlana Stone (15 Minutes) who are my hero’s and I promise you that they will inspire you too!

https://www.avacadell.com/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&view=productdetails&virtuemart_product_id=102&Itemid=372

Erotica Menu

POSTED ON: Aug 04 2012  • 

I believe that Erotica is a feast for all of our senses that begins with an appealing aperitif, followed by a romantic appetizer, sensual soup, stimulating salad, exciting entrée with sexual sides and topped with a deliciously decadent dessert.

The erotic feast fulfills our emotional and sexual appetite in the form of words, sounds, visual images and products that trigger our imagination and empowers us to intensify our desires.

That’s why I am excited to be part of the EROTIKOS FILM FESTIVAL this year as one of their celebrity judges. I will be watching creative erotic films from around the world and helping to select a worthy winner. I will also be giving a fun interactive a seminar on sex toys.

Other judges include:

Dr. Marc Mani is a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, California certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery and an artist.

Laurie Handlers is a sex educator, author, intimacy coach and radio host of Sex and Happiness.  

Dorian Gomez is the Art Director and Resident Curator of the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas, Nevada.

As judges we will select the best films in special categories. Guests will participate in the Peoples’ Choice Award for Best Picture. Films will be awarded an EFF statue and a cash prize.

This festival is designed to raise the bar of creativity and artistic expression.  Erotikos Films will be made up of films that stimulate your mind as well as stir your body.

Nancy Sutton Pierce, Executive Director & Creator of EROTIKOS is Keeping Life Spicy. As a woman, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse, health and relationship educator, yogini, sex columnist and radio talk show host, Nancy has spawned EROTIKOS from her passion for passion.  Her mission is to Inspire women to embrace their innate sexuality and to guide men toward a deeper understanding so they may lovingly support and appreciate that sensual energy.  There are no limits for the potential of the power of EROTIKOS!  Its a Win-Win for both women and men.

EROTIKOS Film Festival is geared toward women and the men who adore them.  The first annual festival is in September hosted by Hedonism II Resort in Negril, Jamaica. Thoughtful, creative and sexy films from around the world will be screened each evening preceded and followed by themed parties.

The Executive Directors are pleased to announce the following films as our Official Selections:

Music Video:

Short Films:

Feature Films:

Calling all Erotika lovers to join us at the Hedonism II RESORT & SPA – The Host Resort for EROTIKOS FILM FESTIVAL