Sexual Seasons

POSTED ON: Apr 02 2013  • 

As Spring takes hold and we begin to have the first indications that Summer is right around the corner, it got me thinking about the ways sexual relationships might differ based on the time of year. Of course sex is delightful regardless of it being May 1st, July 15th or November 28th but it seems to me quite likely that the weather, amount of sunlight and the average temperature may influence our approach to sex. So while I’m not suggesting that there is an optimal orgasmic equinox, I do believe the concept of Sexual Seasons is something to take seriously.

Spring

Let’s start with Springtime since that’s where we are in the current seasonal calendar. Winter is making its exit and there is the hint of new life, new color with trees coming alive and flowers taking bloom. The sun is sticking around a bit longer and we are coming out of hibernation to take in fresh air. As far as a Sexual Season, I see Spring as the time of year when we might feel more flirtatious and daring. We’re coming out of the Winter cave and feeling the need to be SEEN. Parts of our bodies that have been covered in coats and gloves and sweaters are now being kissed by sunlight and that can definitely be an aphrodisiac. It’s a great time to expand your sexual horizons by learning new sexual skills such as erotic talk, sensual massage, role-playing or Tantric sex. Having sex in Spring is refreshing as it’s warm enough not to shiver, but cool enough not to sweat. It’s so romantic to kiss while hearing the birds singing during a nature walk or feeding each other on a picnic at the park and it will make your Springtime more magical and memorable.

Summer

Summer dating brings people closer together because you’ve got the hot-weather lust, which makes it easier to be spontaneous, there’s more fun things to do and your sex appeal is smoking’. There is also biological evidence to prove that sunshine increases sex drive and makes you feel more sexually aroused. So, walk around your home naked to save money on air conditioning and put your undies in the freezer, then slip them on before you go out on a date. If you’re in a relationship, take advantage of the warm weather to add more sizzle to your love life. Take a cool shower together and soap each other up with shower gel. Then use your bodies as a human sponge and slide from side to side, up and down until you’re both squeaky clean. For the finale, give your lover a treat with some oral love. Making love outside can be even more exhilarating than doing it inside; Sex under the scorching sun is outrageously wild whether it’s spooning on a deserted beach or camping in your backyard, you’ll create erotic memories that you can share together for years to come.

Autumn

As Autumn presents itself, we start to pull each other close. While the colors start to fade on the trees, our passion settles a bit. What was a negligee may now be a flannel shirt and wool socks. By the way, Dutch scientists reported that women are 30% more likely to orgasm when their feet were warm, with socks on. We find ourselves doing the things to grasp the last vestiges of hot summer lovin’ while also beginning the pouty prep work for the Winter ahead. While the leaves fall, you too can fall in love or lust by rolling around in some just-raked leaves. As it gets darker earlier, it gives us more time to be romantic under the moonlight and as it gets lighter in the morning, it lends itself to more time for morning sex in bed or in the shower. Either way, it will make your days and nights during the Fall season more sexually fulfilling.

Winter

Winter brings days filled with the most darkness so, light a fire, snuggle close and keep each other warm anyway possible, even if that means rubbing bodies together like kindling. The more sex you have, the hotter you will get, so be sure to make love in all six basic positions; Missionary, Doggie, Cowgirl, Spooning, Standing and Scissors. And if you want to start a family, you are in luck because according to a new study out of Israel, doctors discovered that men with normal sperm production actually produced sperm in greater numbers, that was faster and with fewer abnormalities, in Winter. Perhaps this explains why August sees more babies born than any other month of the year.

So what are your thoughts? Do you believe in the concept of Sexual Seasons? Do you find that your sexuality evolves over the course of the year, or do you feel the same about sex on the Forth of July as you do on New Year’s Eve?

Sensual and Mindful Eating

POSTED ON: Jan 21 2013  • 

In order to eat sensually and mindfully, you need to strive to do this one task with full awareness and presence of mind. You can use your breath, slowly inhaling and exhaling to relax and focus on your body to determine how hungry you are by rating your hunger from a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being famished.  The best time to eat is when your hunger scale is at around a 5 on your imaginary scale.

No more serving yourself large portions, eating after you are full, stuffing yourself hurriedly, automatically going for fast foods while driving, walking, working or watching TV.

Shift all of your attention from the outside world to the inside of your body and feel your mind and body begin to relax.

Choose your food with intention followed by attention so that you eat wisely, whether its a hearty breakfast, healthy snack, nourishing lunch or your favorite dinner, make it a sensual and memorable experience.  Always eat sitting down in a comfortable environment and focus on the visual satisfaction of appetizing foods, the olfactory stimulation of their seductive smells and tactile gratification that will result in pleasing your mind and your body.

To increase your awareness of what you are about to eat, look at the food on your plate first and then eat one bite at a time slowly and without any distractions such as the TV, computer, a book or phone.  Be sure to appreciate the aromas of the food as you take your time to enjoy all the different sensations, textures and temperatures with all your senses.

If you are eating with a partner, you can feed each other sensually, pausing after each bite to kiss and share your desires for the food and each other. Savor the ritual of eating to satisfy both your mental and physical appetites until they are fulfilled.

What other activities can you apply sensual mindfulness to?

Sensual BDSM Preparation

POSTED ON: Dec 02 2012  • 

To prepare for your sensual BDSM experience, create erotic energy by setting the mood for getting intimate and feeling safe. Gentle and passionate kisses set the stage for trust and connection, which is very important. Adding ambiance with music, candlelight, feathers, finger foods and drinks to heighten all of the senses can enhance the mood for sensuality.

Communication:

Before embarking on any BDSM or power play, be sure to share your concerns, fears, desires, and interests so you can both come up with a mutually understood set of limits and guidelines.

Set up a way to communicate while you are playing to let your partner know how things are going. This is an important aspect of safety and essential to create trust and security. Safe words are used to stop play immediately without hesitation. It’s good practice to use non-sexual terms for safe words to maximize communication. Don’t use words that are sometimes spoken during consensual sex, such as NO and STOP, because these words can be a turn-on in role-play, sex, and BDSM scenes.

For safe words, using the stop light system is an effective way to communicate, where saying green means keep going I love this, yellow means you’re at my limits, and red means stop immediately and check in with me now.

Ice Play:

Sensation and temperature play is a form of BDSM power play where objects and substances are used to stimulate the body for sensual effect. Many couples have experimented with using ice cubes on their lover’s body to spice up their sex life. But you can take it a step farther if the focus is on teasing the submissive by the dominant. And like many simple erotic acts, ice play can be turned into a veritable kinky art form, depending upon how and where you use it.

Sensual Biting:

Most people typically don’t think of biting as a form of sex play, but surprisingly, Alfred Kinsey found that 55% of females and 50% of males reported having responded erotically to being bitten. Whether it’s gentle nibbling or offering a firm love bite, biting can be an extremely passionate and enthusiastic BDSM behavior. It’s important to begin erotic biting gently and use good communication to find what is mutually pleasurable. Some people enjoy the use of teeth, others prefer more of a suction action, and a few enjoy a combination. Because biting has the potential to leave marks, it’s always a good idea to discuss skin marks and areas to bite before beginning.

Sensual Fingernail Scratching:

Fingernail scratching on your partner’s body can be an erotic rush for many people. It’s a wonderful way to stimulate the skin and create unique sensations. You can vary the sensation felt by your partner by changing the pattern of scratching, whether it’s digging into the skin, scratching in a straight line, or in zigzag motions. Remember to discuss scratching limits and leaving marks on your body with your partner.

Sensual Hair Pulling:

An erotic activity shared by two partners is hair pulling. For some, it can be a powerful expression of dominance and submission. When we pull hair erotically, we have to remember to not pull from the end of the hair. For most people, that’s not pleasurable pain. For better hair pulling technique, take your flattened hand and slide it upwards beginning at the back of the neck. Get your fingers interlocked with their hair while your flat hand is nestled against their scalp. When you reach the top portion of their head, grip the hair while making a fist and keep your hand close to their scalp. Now you have a firm hold of their hair, which is close to the scalp. Adjust your grip and the pulling according to your partner’s desire. For more advanced hair pulling, try it with two hands.

Sensual Restraints:

Whenever we tie anything to our partners, such as scarves, belt, rope, or neckties, we have to keep safety in mind. Always check to make sure there is enough space between the restraint and their skin. A good rule is to be able to slip one finger in between the restraint and the skin. This will allow for circulation and better comfort. Also, keep a pair of surgical scissors handy, in case you need to remove the restraint immediately.

Sensual Blindfolding:

By using a blindfold to cover your lover’s eyes, you can accentuate all of their other senses, and it can help both partners to feel less inhibited and more daring.

Depriving the senses, such as using a blindfold to remove sight and restraining someone to remove their sense of touch can heighten arousal. It’s a way to increase the sensations of other senses, like hearing, smelling and tasting during sensual BDSM play.

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