Please Your Lovers C-Spot

There is an erotic erogenous zone that can boost arousal and even magnify orgasmic intensity. The outer edge of the ear is a C-shaped pleasure zone that responds to finger caressing, warm or cool breath, kissing, licking, sucking and delicate biting.

Don’t rush, take your time and be gentle as you tease your lover by moving your tongue and lips gently around the C-spot. Just the right kind of stimulation can be so seductive, it sends erotic chills and creates sexual anticipation of what’s to come.

The C-spot has infinite nerve endings and for some people it is the highest sensitivity in their bodies that can result in an “eargasm” during foreplay or while making love.

Crossing Boundaries

Boundaries are acts and activities that establish our comfort zones. Having boundaries gives us self-value and respect. Communicating boundaries to your partner lets them know your limitations and deal breakers. It can be a powerful form of communication between couples that can result in a deeper level of intimacy. Maintaining boundaries contributes to feeling safe and grounded. Boundaries can be defined by gender, sexual orientation and proclivities. Boundaries can also change depending on context, age and opportunities.

So identify your own boundaries and then share them with your partner before they become violated. After all, you can’t blame someone for crossing a boundary that they didn’t know existed.

I tell my clients to create a “Boundary Box” to be aware of and share physical, emotional and sexual boundaries with their partner.

Here’s how:

Write down all of your boundaries on separate pieces of paper or index cards and fill a box with them.  Below are some examples of physical, emotional and sexual boundaries.

Physical boundaries: I have the right to determine when, where, how, and who is going to touch me. I have the right to determine how close someone is going to stand next to me.

  • Don’t touch my butt in public
  • I won’t hug people I don’t know
  • Don’t make out with me in the movies
  • Brush your teeth before you kiss me in the morning
  • I will leave you if you raise your hand to me
  • I won’t kiss people I just met, even on the cheek
  • I won’t dance with anyone I don’t intend to have sex with

Emotional boundaries: What I think or feel or do or don’t do is more about me than it is about you. Conversely, what you think and feel or do or don’t do is more about you than it is about me.

  • Don’t talk about our sex life in public
  • Don’t compare me to other lovers
  • Don’t talk about past relationships
  • Don’t kiss strangers hello or goodbye
  • Don’t flirt with other people
  • Introduce me when we see someone I don’t know
  • I’ll leave you if I find out you’ve been unfaithful

Sexual boundaries: I have the right to determine with whom, where, when and how I am going to be sexual with someone

  • No anal sex
  • I won’t swallow (semen from ejaculation)
  • I don’t want to kiss you after you’ve given me oral sex
  • I don’t want to have a threesome or group sex
  • Don’t go right for my breasts or between my legs
  • I won’t have sex with you when you are watching porn
  • I won’t wait until you have your orgasm to have mine

Why it works: Because if you don’t know what your boundaries are, then you cannot express them or blame your partner for overstepping them.

Caution: Ignored boundaries can be very damaging and you should seek professional help from a sex therapist, counselor or sexologist.

Check out this a link to an original online survey on sexual boundaries with over 1000 participants who explored the social and emotional context for the engagement of sexual boundaries. Particular focus was directed to the intersection between low sexual desire and appetite for sexual novelty.

https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/LUPages/surveys.aspx

Pheromone Power

Have you ever been drawn to someone whose smell was intoxicating and you just couldn’t stop thinking about them? That’s called, chemical attraction and is caused by our natural pheromones that are secreted from our glands, which send signals to trigger specific mating responses in our brain. They are sensed by an organ in the nasal passage known as VMO, then send messages to the brain to interpret signals that can include fertility, confidence, sexual attraction, trustworthiness and even success or power. Consequently, pheromones can produce overwhelming attraction, even when the physical attributes are lacking.

Our natural gender specific pheromones include Androstenone associated with alpha male sexual tension, Androstenedione, a chemical found in sweat, Androstenol, the female pheromone associated with romantic interest and Copulines, the female pheromone released during ovulation that has been shown to increase male testosterone.

Pheromones are emitted from our sweat glands, pulse points and anywhere that we have hair, so you can release attraction-boosting signals by going commando, not showering right after exercising and by not wearing deodorant or fragrances that will mask your natural scent. I’m not suggesting that you don’t maintain good hygiene, but bathing with warm water while cutting down on soap will wash off fewer of your body’s pheromones. You can also enhance your pheromones by eating foods high in zinc such as oysters and other fresh seafood aphrodisiacs known to increase testosterone in men and women.

Independent studies have been conducted at leading universities worldwide, such as Stanford University, the University of California at Berkeley, the University of Chicago and the Karolinska Institute, one of Sweden’s oldest medical schools have shown that pheromones do have a profound effect on human behavior.

Orgasm Workouts

During workouts some women have reported having exercise-induced orgasms. And they were not doing vagina aerobics to strengthen their pelvic muscles. Butt builder exercises like squats and lunges caused an increase in tension in their lower extremities that lead to the release of orgasms. Even more surprising were Coregasms from working out the abs while doing crunches and hanging leg raises. More predictable were women who admitted they felt aroused when they rolled on top of  a large exercise ball. So with these reports, it’s no wonder that researchers  Debra Herbenick and Dennis Fortenberry decided to conduct an anonymous survey to find out how many women had experienced orgasm, and what types of exercise were likely to elicit such a response. Of the 530 participants surveyed, 124 women did in fact experience exercise-induced orgasm and 246 reported exercise-induced sexual pleasure from an array of physical exercises that included using the “Captain’s Chair” – an ab strengthener, doing chin-ups, climbing poles, biking and even weight lifting. Less likely activities to result in orgasm on the survey were swimming, running and tennis.

Becoming aware that women can orgasm by exercising is a good enough reason to make working out a regular ritual. Taking care of your body inside and out can increase confidence, release feel-good endorphins and improve overall mental, physical, emotional and sexual health. If you don’t have a gym membership, you can still get on the orgasm workout bandwagon by doing your crunches at home. Adding some Kegel exercises to your fitness regiment is my advice to trigger those nerve impulses in the pelvic area and feel orgasmic sensations. Kegels are exercise techniques for strengthening these muscles to increase blood flow, tighten the vagina, improve bladder control,  increase orgasmic ability and even enable female ejaculation during orgasm. Empower your sexuality by exercising your sexual support muscles, which I like to refer to as vagina aerobics that you can do anytime, anywhere and nobody will know why you look so happy!

The survey report on exercise-induced orgasms is published in a special issue of Sexual and Relationship Therapy, a leading peer-reviewed journal in the area of sex therapy and sexual health. Co-author is J. Dennis Fortenberry, M.D., professor at the IU School of Medicine and Center for Sexual Health Promotion affiliate.

Secrets to Empowerment

AWAKEN YOUR EMPOWERMENT SO IT WILL BE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS WHEN YOU MOST WANT AND NEED IT WITH THESE 3 SECRETS.

SECRET #1 ROMANCE YOURSELF. TREAT YOURSELF AS IF YOU ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU…EVERY DAY!

BEGIN BY IDENTIFYING WHAT MAKES YOU LOVABLE & GIVE YOURSELF ALL THE COMPLIMENTS YOU DESERVE.SO WHAT COMPLIMENT IS MOST MEANINGFULL TO YOU? IS IT A PHYSICAL, MENTAL, APPRECIATIVE OR SEXUAL COMPLIMENT? ALL OF THEM MAKE US FEEL GOOD, SO PRACTICE GIVING YOURSELF AT LEAST ONE OF EACH EVERY SINGLE DAY. TELL YOURSELF, “I’M HOT, SMART, KIND AND A GREAT LOVER.”

CELEBRATE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS BIG AND SMALL BY REWARDING YOURSELF REGULARLY. WHAT DOES YOUR REWARD LOOK LIKE? IS IT LUNCH WITH A FRIEND, BUYING NEW CLOTHES, TAKING A NAP, WATCHING A MOVIE OR GIVING YOURSELF AN ORGASM?

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE; DON’T WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO GIVE IT TO YOU. IF YOU WANT TO FEEL SENSUAL, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET INTO A JUICY FRAME OF MIND. AWAKEN YOUR SENSES BY HEIGHTENING THEM WITH EROTIC TURN ONS, SUCH AS SCENTED CANDLES, WARM BATH, ROMANTIC MUSIC, A GLASS OF WINE OR SOME DELICIOUS DESERT.

ROMANCING YOURSELF ALSO MEANS FORGIVING YOURSELF, STOPPING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK AND FACING YOUR BIGGEST FEARS WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

SECRET #2 POSITIVE PEAK MEMORIES. TAP INTO YOUR MOST POSITIVE PEAK MEMORIES TO EXPERIENCE PLEASURE ANYTIME, ANY PLACE.

Close your eyes and recall a moment when you felt on top of the world. HOW ABOUT A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION YOU HAD, A WEDDING, A BIRTH, A GRADUATION, GETTING A RAISE, A NEW CLIENT, OR A GREAT DATE.

This can have powerful results in reprogramming the subconscious mind and flooding your body with feel good endorphins, as your brain doesn’t know the difference between whether you are thinking or experiencing your positive peak moments.

Start saying YES to more positive peak moments and NO to people making demands on your valuable time, as it’s the most precious gift to give to yourself.

SECRET #3 PERCEPTION RECOGNITION. GET OTHERS TO PERCEIVE YOU THROUGH YOUR EYES. SO ASK YOURSELF, “HOW DO I WANT TO BE PERCEIVED BY MY PARTNER, MY FRIENDS, MY ASSOCIATES, EVEN MY COMPETITORS?

THINK OF 3 ADJECTIVES TO DESCRIBE HOW YOU WANT TO BE PERCEIVED. DO YOU WANT TO BE PERCEIVED AS PASSIONATE? POWERFUL? PLAYFUL? SMART? CREATIVE? SEDUCTIVE? FUNNY? POSITIVE? STRONG? OR OTHER?

YOU CAN IMPACT OTHERS TO PERCEIVE YOU THROUGH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE, YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, THE SOUND AND PROJECTION OF YOUR VOICE AND YOUR ACTIONS.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE UNIVERSAL AS EMOTIONS FOR HAPPINESS, SADNESS, ANGER, SURPRISE & FEAR.

BODY MOVEMENTS & POSTURE COMMUNICATES CONFIDENCE, INSECURITY, SEXINESS, INHIBITIONS, SELF-LOVE AND SELF-DOUBT.

GESTURES ARE EXPRESSIONS OF OUR EMOTIONS, SO BEWARE OF HOW YOU USE YOUR HANDS.

EYE CONTACT CAN COMMUNICATE INTEREST, ATTRACTION, SURPRISE, FEAR AND LOVE.

THE PROJECTION OF YOUR VOICE IS NOT JUST WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT WHICH CAN CONVEY UNDERSTANDING AND APPROVAL.

SO THE SECRETS TO EMPOWERMENT INCLUDE ROMANCING YOURSELF, TAPPING INTO YOUR POSITIVE PEAK MEMORIES AND PERCEIVING YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO PERCEIVE YOU. TAKE CHARGE, EMPOWER YOURSELF AND BE 10 TIMES BOLDER IN YOUR LIFE SO THAT YOU HAVE NO REGRETS.

BE MORE PLAYFUL IN THE BEDROOM AND IF YOU NEED ANY IDEAS, GET MY NEW BOOK CALLED “THE SEXY LITTLE BOOK OF SEX GAMES” BY ALPHA/PENGUIN PUBLISHING TO INSPIRE YOU AT: http://is.gd/EVY16r

BY RELEASING THAT CONFIDENT, POWERFUL ENERGY FROM WITHIN, YOU WILL DO WONDERS FOR YOURSELF IN YOUR SOCIAL LIFE, YOUR CAREER, IN THE BEDROOM AND IN EVERY OTHER AREAS OF YOUR LIFE.

Please your Partner with Power Play

In the sex community, BDSM are four letters that stand for six words—Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. It’s a playground teeming with games to utilize the exchange of power to heighten pleasure and tantalize the senses. So lets explore the titillating world of these power exchange sex games from my new book, The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games, where you and your partner trade off being sexually dominant and submissive to one another. You will need an open mind, mutually trusting hearts and a bit of imagination to let these games be fun and exciting for you and your partner. Some other key ingredients include trust, respect, consent, good negotiation skills, honesty, and great communication. Some of the sex games may include being tied up or blindfolded, so having a solid sense of trusting your partner to have your best interests in hand is important.

Blind Love
Flip a coin to see who is going to be blindfolded and then lead your lover to the bed. Undress and ravish him or her with total abandon, which should be easy because they can’t see you.

Punishment Box
Keep a secret box of “punishments” to use on your lover when it’s time for some fun. Have a set of cards with erotic punishments written on each one so that you can pick one randomly. Punishments can range from being tied up, blindfolded, and deprived of orgasm, spanked, or humiliated by walking around naked wearing a leash.

Wrestle Mania
Challenge your partner to a nude wrestling match and experience foreplay the Greco-Roman way. For an added twist, consider greasing yourself up with oil and incorporating aspects of bond- age. Would wrestling blindfolded change the dynamic? Try and find out.

Lusty Shopping Spree
Go with your partner to a dollar store and each fill up your own baskets with 10 items to use for power exchange games. For example, a spatula for caning, pantyhose for blindfolding, clothespins for pinching, bobby pins for scratching, an oven mitt for spanking, and tape for tying. After 15 minutes of shopping, get together and compare. The person to reach 10 items first wins.

Top and Bottom Satisfaction
Take turns switching between being a Top and a Bottom so that you can be a dominant one day and a submissive the next. As a Top, you can take away your slave’s senses to make any punishment experience more intense. Take away their sense of sight with a blindfold, remove their sense of touch by restraining them, and deprive them of hearing with earplugs or earmuffs. Now you can stroke your lover’s body with ice or any other textures.

For more playful ways to add passion to your love life, get The Little Book of Sexy Games by Alpha/Penguin Publishing  http://is.gd/EVY16r

 

Mindful Masturbation

I encourage my clients to masturbate because orgasms have tremendous health benefits to body and mind. I believe that regular masturbation will produce certain emotional and physical health benefits.  Its long been established that there are myriad of health benefits related to sexual activity.  This awareness has been recorded in our culture for centuries in the form of old wives tales such as “Use it, or lose it.”  Just as if you don’t use your common household appliances regularly, they will become rusty.

Masturbation is a freedom of expression that allows you to pleasure yourself on your own terms, can help you figure out how you feel about sex, allows you to explore your sexual fantasies and is an acceptable selfish act. You never need to make excuses about why you do it. It is a gift you have just for yourself.

Here are 10 Steps to Mindful Masturbation

  1. Make sure you are in a comfortable and safe place where you can relax.
  2. Close your eyes and empty your mind of worries.
  3. Breathe deeply and slowly.
  4. Explore your body with your hands and fingers.
  5. Add some lube for a silkier sensation.
  6. Release sounds of pleasure.
  7. Let your fantasies run wild.
  8. Focus your touch on a primary erogenous zone.
  9. Use a sex toy for more direct stimulation.
  10. Let yourself go and surrender your mind and body to orgasm.

Giving this precious gift of self-love and self-acceptance is key to living a healthy sexual life, whether you are single or in a relationship.

Take an online course in masturbation and discover dozens of new male and female techniques at: http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=24

The Perfect Kiss

A kiss can be one of the most romantic, sensual and erotic exchanges, on a first date or in a lasting relationship. Many people ask me to describe the perfect kiss, so if you want three quick and easy steps for the perfect kiss, this is for you.

Step #1: The Tease

Begin by using your tongue to trace around your partner’s lips and then spread them apart with your tongue. With open mouths, lips not quite touching flick your tongues against each other teasingly.

Step#2: The Tongue Sucker

Then wrap your lips around your partner’s tongue sucking on it, moving your head back and forth as you increase the speed and intensity.

Step #3: The Perfect Make-Out Kiss

Continue lip-locking alternating between tongue flicking and tongue sucking while moving your lips in a slow circular motion together. Also use your hands to caress your partner and press your body against each other for the perfect make-out kiss.

I’ve written a whole chapter on Kissing Games in my new book, The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games available at:
http://is.gd/EVY16r

 

Valentine’s Gifts for Men

  Valentine’s Day is one of those special occasions when it’s easier to find a gift for that special woman than the great guy who makes a difference in your life. If you want to make him happy, give him sex. If you want to make him feel appreciated, buy him a watch and have it engraved with a meaningful message. If you want to make him feel lucky to have you in his life, get him a subscription to his favorite magazine, even if it’s Hustler, then give him a striptease followed by a lap dance. If you want to share more quality time with him, get him something you can both enjoy such as tickets to a sporting event, concert or even tandem skydiving. If you want him to become a better lover, give him my instructional DVD on oral sex with a vibrating cock ring. If you want him to look and smell good, give him a personal hair trimmer and cologne. if you want to show him your nurturing side, cook him a romantic dinner, then give him a full body massage and if you’re lucky, he will reciprocate.

Make your man feel like a million dollars by giving him something special this Valentine’s Day. If you are still at a loss for gift ideas, see if you can find something fitting from the list of 40 ideas below.

  1. Early morning sex
  2. New sexy underwear for him
  3. A full body massage
  4. Sexy lingerie for you
  5. Afternoon phone sex
  6. Surprise striptease and a lap dance
  7. Naughty outfit like sexy nurse or cop with cuffs
  8. A handmade card with photo of your favorite part of his anatomy
  9. Tickets to his favorite sporting event or concert
  10. A bottle of champagne, wine or his favorite drink to share in bed
  11. A romantic home cooked dinner where you wear only an apron and high heels
  12. Late night sex
  13. Subscription to Playboy or Hustler magazine
  14. Subscription to Sports Illustrated, Esquire, Wired or Fortune magazine
  15. A porn parody
  16. Dr. Ava’s Guide to Oral Sex DVD
  17. The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games
  18. A new sex position such as The Slide-Side (woman on top facing the side)
  19. An exotic sturdy plant
  20. Edible panties for both of you
  21. A vibrating cock ring
  22. A key ring, engraved
  23. A watch, engraved
  24. A fancy bar set
  25. Personal hair trimmer
  26. Shower mirror
  27. Cologne
  28. Bathrobe
  29. Golf Clubs
  30. Anal lube
  31. Cufflinks
  32. Wallet
  33. Voucher redeemable for a “Quickie.”
  34. Leather jacket
  35. Tandem Skydiving experience
  36. A prostate orgasm
  37. A threesome
  38. A framed sexy photo of yourself
  39. A kinky bondage kit
  40. A sex swing

Please Your Lover with Sexy Stocking Stuffers

Here are some of my favorite gifts that maybe small, but they have a powerful kick to add more sizzle and spice to your love life. From vibrating rings to erotic edibles and beautifully illustrated lovemaking cards, there is something to please your lover this holiday season.

Promise Finger Ring

The Waterproof Promise Finger Ring is more than just a vibrator; it symbolizes a commitment to bring you sensational pleasure time and time again. Just slide the ring on to whichever finger it feels most comfortable, click the button to select your favorite of the five functions and find the speed that drives you wild as you explore all your hot spots. Use the smooth round head to caress yourself or your lover in the shower, the tub or while lounging around comfortably. This compact massager is always faithful when it comes to making you climax, whether you’ve been naughty or nice. Available from Amazon http://is.gd/Wglo2e

Tasty Wear

Get a sexy holiday treat with a ready filled stocking complete with a penis lollipop, a feather tickler, sexy favor coupon book, naughty scratch & win ticket, bedroom dice game and nipple gloss.  For him it is filled with favor coupon book, scratch & win ticket, bedroom dice game, feather tickler, candy cock ring and a booby lollipop. If naughty edibles is more your style, surprise your lover with some candy cuffs that you can nibble off their wrist or how about some edible undies, Stretchy candy penis-rings, nipple tassels or even a sweet candy whip? All of these and erotic chocolate pussies, breasts, butts and penises are available at www.chocolatefantasies.com

Ancient Chinese Sexual Position Cards

These 50 exquisitely illustrated 5 in x 7 cards are based on ancient Chinese medical texts with images and descriptions of sensuality, intimacy, and sexuality. For example, The TORTOISE MOUNTS shows the woman lying on her back, bending her knees while the man pushes her feet. His Jade Stalk inserted, he pleasures her with both deep and shallow thrusts until her body shakes and lifts, and her emission fluid erupts. Holiday Special: buy 1 set of cards and get 2nd and 3rd Free. Available at: http://sexualshaman.com/purchase.html

The Screaming O

The Screaming O Vibrating Penis Ring is an award winning, top-selling revolutionary disposable couples-friendly adult toy that enhances the ability for both partners to achieve incredible orgasms…together. The thimble-sized vibrator is attached to a soft gel ring that slips over the penis and condom, providing the added benefit of anchoring the condom from slipping off. By the way, it stretches to fit any size man. For the woman, the vibrating bullet adds extra stimulation onto her clitoris during penetration. It’s waterproof, so you can use it in the shower or tub. It even comes with batteries installed, so it is ready right out of the package, but be sure to figure out how to turn the vibrator on before you start making love.  Available from Amazon http://is.gd/ugyN2i

 

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