A relationship is certainly an education. One with a series of tests, extensive research, the roles of teacher and student, unexpected courses in math, science, biology, chemistry, history, speech, writing, sex ed and, hopefully, a bit of recess! You may not be able to march across a stage to receive a diploma and the applause of an audience acknowledging the accomplishments of relationships, but you are still able to incorporate some of the key elements of graduation into your personal growth.

REFLECTION

We are a world built on momentum that is constantly reaching forward. We rarely take the time to examine the past and the amazing things we have accomplished so far. Take some time to look at the life you have created for yourself. Really see it. Don’t focus on the things that you want to change but allow yourself instead to see what you have done that is incredible. Think about your life’s story and imagine that you are hearing it as if it belongs to someone else. What parts of the story excite you, thrill you, astonish you with their bravery, leave you in awe of our hero? Well, the hero of this story is you. Embrace that.

GRATITUDE

While reflecting, extend gratitude to those that have given your life its color. Maybe this will inspire you to reach out to an old friend. Maybe you will do something unexpected and kind for a neighbor or colleague. Maybe you will sit down with your partner, take their hands and express your gratitude for all the gifts they have brought into your life. Or maybe you will just sit with their image in your mind and love in your heart. Genuine gratitude is an incredible thing to give to another person but it is equally important to give it to ourselves. Take a moment to look in the mirror and see yourself fully and without apology. The person you see is the single most important relationship in your life. Say “thank you.”

FORGIVENESS

One of the single hardest things in life to do is to forgive. It is also one of the single most important things you can do for your own well-being. Forgiveness does not let those that have hurt us off the hook as much as it lets us off our own hook. As Lewis B. Smedes says, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” And perhaps even more challenging than trying to forgive another is making the choice to forgive yourself. Yes, you have made mistakes. That is one of the prices of living. But that is also one of life’s gifts because our mistakes give us character, give us humility, and they give us humor. You are not your mistakes, you are how you let your errors define you. Without mistakes there can be no forgiveness and without forgiveness there can be no love!

NEW GOALS

This is the time to think about what you would like to do next. How do you want to live your life and how do you want your relationships to evolve? A graduating senior must choose whether to continue their education, join the work force, take a sabbatical, settle down or party on. As a student of life, what would you next like to do or learn? Make some new goals. Sure, you can make them epic “bucket list” goals like visit Bora Bora, learn to speak Mandarin, or compete in a triathlon. But find some simple goals as well. Get out of bed 30 minutes earlier. Put down the TV remote and read a book. Learn about one of your partner’s hobbies and surprise them with a gift that shows you support their own goals.

One of the great gifts to give a graduating senior of any age is the Dr. Seuss classic “Oh The Places You’ll Go.” It’s a sweet and whimsical tale filled with reminders of what a great adventure living can be. So as you journey on into the next chapter of your life, I give this great quote from the book, “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

Here are 12 gifts to give yourself that will empower you to feel more confident, secure, liberated and fulfilled.

1. Begin by treating yourself as if you are the madly in love with you. Write a love letter to yourself and list all the things that make you loveable including your positive physical features, behaviors and personality traits.
2. Put your order in for Mother’s Day breakfast in bed, but be specific about the time and the menu, otherwise your partner or children may just serve you cold cereal at the crack of dawn.
3. Relax in a bubble bath with rose petals in the water while listening to your favorite music and let your mind wonder to your own scenic paradise.  If you prefer to take a romantic bath with your partner, tell them to wash and dry you, since you are the receiver of pleasure today.
4. Unleash your feminine power by dressing in something that makes you feel as good as you can about yourself, whether it’s a designer dress with stilettos, jeans with a sexy tee and cowboy boots, or a flowing gypsy skirt with sandals and blouse. When you feel self-assured, others will perceive you as confident.
5. Love yourself enough for some well-deserved pampering by treating yourself to a skin care treatment, hair coloring, cutting or styling, makeup application, therapeutic massage, intimate waxing, brow shaping or coloring, manicure and/or a pedicure.
6. Give in to temptation and indulge in your favorite cravings, even if it’s a high calorie red velvet cupcake, peanut butter ice cream, chocolate fudge cake, caramel popcorn, cheesecake, box of gourmet chocolates, milkshake or some awesome cheeses with French bread. It’s okay to give in and satisfy yourself with yummy treats on your special day without any feelings of guilt.
7. Reward yourself by buying some new lingerie and negligees. Be sure to have a variety to fit your every mood from an elegant chemise, naughty baby doll, sexy teddy, daring thongs, strapless bra, plunge bra or under-wire push-up bra. Wearing sexy lingerie under everyday clothes can put you in a juicy state of mind and boost your confidence.
8. If you have read Fifty Shades of Grey, then you know that it took the world by storm, selling more than 70 million copies, topping best-seller lists. You can bring the fun of the writing to your very own bedroom with the help of a Shades of Grey Kit thoughtfully put together by The Experience Channel. There is FREE shipping on all products including adult toys and lingerie until Mothers Day.  No Minimums purchase required at at http://www.theexperiencechannel.com/
9. Meditation and creative visualization allows your mind and body to de-stress and re-energize so that you feel more balanced. Integrate breathing as an exercise as you exhale any negative energy and inhale positive energy for an overall sense of exhilaration.
10. Every woman has her own signature scent, so treat yourself to a bottle of your favorite perfume or try a new fragrance that fits your personality. Have fun exploring different types of scents from floral, fruity, spicy, woody to musky by dabbing a drop on your pulse points behind your ears or on the wrists.
11. Dining options on Mother’s Day range from scrumptious buffets to candlelight dinners, but restaurants get booked up in advance so make sure that you choose a place that serves a truly memorable meal that you didn’t have to prepare.
12. Have fun doing something you haven’t done in a long time or ever. You are in control of your itinerary, so make it good and don’t make excuses. If you want to go to a theater, a winery, nature walk, the beach or a boat ride, state your desires to your family and let them know that you have made arrangements to make this Mother’s Day the most mindful and memorable.

This is a great lesson in giving and receiving to yourself because you are worthy of pleasure all the time, not just on Mother’s Day.

In a study published in the Journal of European Urology, Dr. Maria Angela Cerruto presented the results of her tests on 66 women and found that if they stood with their feet at a 15-degree angle to the ground the electrical activity in their pelvic muscles was less — indicating the muscles were more relaxed with higher heels, thus improving their strength and ability to contract.

High heels are synonymous with sex, so if they are too uncomfortable to wear out, just wear them in bed and see how it can emphasize your sexual power.

Shoes have serious sex appeal for women. In fact some women think buying, owning or wearing a pair of shoes is better than sex. If asked, many women would agree that it doesn’t matter how many pairs you have, there is always room for more. There’s some science behind it with experts agreeing that women experience positive physiological effects when shopping for shoes. The feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine is released into the brain, flooding it with a pleasure endorphins that intensify all the way up to the actual purchase.

For shoe fetishists, the Stiletto is the ultimate in high heels. Thinner and higher than most high heels, it can be up to seven inches in height. Although high heels were around for some centuries, the stiletto was formed by Italian shoemakers in the 1950′s when they inserted a metal stick into the heel of a shoe in a bid to stop heels breaking.

Or are you a finicky eater who shuffles food around the plate while counting the calories in your head? It’s hard to feel sexy when you are hungry. So, let’s face it, if you’re passionate about food, you’re more likely to be passionate about sex.

Food and sex are two of the greatest pleasures known to mankind and both appetites need to be fulfilled. They are part of our vital life force and stimulate all of ours senses. So make a date to cook with your partner and spend some quality time together as you create some sizzling sexy fun with orgasmic foods.

Cooking a sexy meal together can bring on a state of euphoria conducive to sexual expression, especially when you have a variety of flavors; textures, aromas and it looks like a work of art. For example fresh shrimp cocktail presented in beautiful glasses, followed by a light colorful salad sprinkled with sesame seeds, then a juicy, succulent piece of lean meat or a soft, fluffy fish with savory vegetables and decadent chocolate soufflé with ruby red raspberry sauce to complete the delicious meal. Mmm, it sounds orgasmic, doesn’t it? Well that’s because all of these foods can facilitate the big O!

If you’re not much into cooking, here are ten orgasmic foods that you can snack on and they are sure to stir up your sex life.

1. A stalk of crunchy celery is packed with two pheromones that can help men attract women, according to Dr. Alan Hirsch, a neurologist and psychiatrist who has devoted over 25 years of research to the science of smell and taste.

2. Vanilla Ice Cream can boost your libido and can make your orgasm more powerful. A study conducted at Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment found that when men smell the scent of vanilla it reduces their inhibitions.

3. The American Dietetic Association reports that Brazil nuts can help keep sperm cells healthy, but if you prefer almonds, you’re in luck as they are high in libido-boosting vitamin E that can boost sex drive.

4. Blueberries are Mother nature’s original potency food for men with erectile problems. Professor Mary Ellen Camire at the University of Maine reports that they are loaded with soluble fiber, which helps push excess cholesterol through the digestive system and they are packed with compounds that help relax blood vessels, improving circulation all through the body.

5. The naughty looking banana can help your body produce sex hormones a few hours before getting it on and it converts carbs into energy so it will give you more endurance between the sheets.

6. The Journal of Sexual Medicine reports that one cube of dark chocolate daily can lead to greater desire and better overall sexual function.

7. Cherries are sweet and tasty, but also stimulate pheromone production and have potassium that is essential for producing sexual hormones.

8. Cucumber is a phallic looking food that arouses women by its aroma as well as the taste. Nutritionally, they provide several nutrients essential for sexual health, including Vitamin C and a mineral called manganese.

9. Strawberries are luscious to look at and delicious to eat, but also a high source of vitamin C and rich in antioxidants that benefit the heart and help lower cholesterol.

10. Ladies chewing on Licorice found it to enhance love and lust as it contains plant estrogen’s and stimulates the sex glands, bringing oxygen to the female genitals 40% faster. Dr. Allan Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Research Institute in Chicago found that the most arousing aroma for women was the combination of Good and Plenty candies with cucumber or Good and Plenty candy with banana bread.  For men, it was the combination of donuts and licorice.

If you want to experience orgasmic food and hotter sex, I recommend, a delightful cookbook written and illustrated with fabulous photos by Linda DeVillers PhD designed to help stimulate and satisfy your creative appetites and get your home fires burning, entitled, Simple Sexy Food. In her book she writes, “Just about any food that resembles the reproductive organs—penis and testicles in men, and breasts, labia, vagina, and ovaries in women—has been cited for aphrodisiac powers. Further, animals and plants with perceived reproductive power (masculine or feminine) are thought by many to aid human sexuality.”

You’ll discover 101 delectable foods and drink recipes, detailed aphrodisiacs, tips and secrets to spice up both the kitchen and the bedroom.

http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Sexy-Food-Linda-Villers/dp/097095655X

Never douche after sex as it will alter the PH balance of the vagina and flush out the cervical fluid that helps the sperm in their egg quest.

Make sure that when using lubricants that it’s sperm-friendly. Many have the undesired result of killing off the swimmers. Pre~Seed is the most popular sperm friendly lubricant on the market and the only one that has been included in independent research studies. Pre~Seed was invented by Dr. Joanna Ellington, a scientist whose research has focused on sperm physiology.

Men need to keep the temperature of their genitals cool for higher sperm count, so avoid hot Jacuzzi’s baths and saunas.

How timing can influence conception

Timing is really important and that means having sex one or two days before ovulation and then again on the day of ovulation, since most women are fertile only during their fertility window.

According to the Shettles Theory, in order to have a boy insemination should occur as close as possible to the moment of ovulation so that the faster, Y-sperm arrive first and achieve conception. When seeking a girl insemination the couple should seek to have sex 2½ to 3 days before ovulation. Dr. Landrum Shettles claimed a 75% to 90% success rate for his simple, at-home method, which advises how to time intercourse to conceive a boy or a girl.

The Whelan Method is pretty much the opposite of the Shettles Method, so to conceive a boy; you should have sex four to six days before ovulation. And to conceive a girl, you should have sex either two to three days before ovulation or on the day of ovulation. Elizabeth Whelan, Sc.D., based the theory that biochemical changes in a woman’s body may favor the Y-bearing (boy producing) sperm occur earlier in a woman’s cycle.

The time of the year is also significant, according to a new study in Israel where 6,000 men with normal sperm production were tested and they discovered that the production of sperm was greater in Winter.

What to do if you want to have a baby girl

The notion is that a woman should be on top so she can control the depth of penetration, instead of deep penetration, men should ejaculate as far as they can from the egg during sexual intercourse. This will ensure that the male sperm, which have a short lifespan, will die before they get the opportunity to reach the egg, thus making sure that you conceive a girl.

Researchers at the University of Exeter in England surveyed 740 first-time mothers and a study by Maastricht University in The Netherlands confirmed to boost the odds of having a girl, mothers should say, YES to calcium and magnesium foods such as yogurt, spinach, tofu, almonds, cashews, beans, oatmeal, broccoli and oranges and, NO, to salt and potassium foods such as anchovies, olives, bacon, salami, smoked salmon, shrimp, potatoes, processed meats, bread and pastries.

The way that this diet influences the gender maybe based upon how it changes the mineral content of a women’s uterine environment (changing the consistency of the cervical mucus), which makes it more hospitable to one type of sperm or another. Similarly, other theories suggest that the “gender diet” can change the pH (acidity) in the woman’s body and therefore change the polarity of the egg. By ingesting the correct ratio of minerals, a woman can alter her uterine environment making it more conducive to attract either an x or y chromosome from the male’s sperm.

What to do if you want to have a baby boy

The theory for making a baby boy is for the man to be on top in Missionary position with the woman’s buttocks on a pillow for deeper penetration to deposit the sperm closest to the cervix. After intercourse, the woman should remain on her back for about fifteen minutes to let the millions of sperm in every ejaculation make their way into the fallopian tubes toward the egg.

As for the woman’s diet, a study in the UK suggests upping calories with plenty of nutrients by at least 400 calories with daily potassium and salty foods that include red meat, cereal, bananas, fish, vegetables and other energy foods.

These sex positions and diets are based on some research, but cannot guarantee the babies gender, however you can have a lot of fun trying.

NOTE: If you’ve been trying to conceive for a year or more without success, visit with a professional fertility specialist.

Resources:

http://www.babymed.com/food-and-nutrition/diet-may-influence-baby-gender

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/12940/1/How-Sexual-Position-Can-Determi

http://www.babycenter.com/0_sexual-positions-for-baby-making_1812.bc

http://www.thebabycorner.com/page/2654/

http://www.in-gender.com/Gender-Selection/Shettles/

http://www.genderselectionauthority.com/low-tech-methods-of-gender-selection/whelan-method.html

Spring

Let’s start with Springtime since that’s where we are in the current seasonal calendar. Winter is making its exit and there is the hint of new life, new color with trees coming alive and flowers taking bloom. The sun is sticking around a bit longer and we are coming out of hibernation to take in fresh air. As far as a Sexual Season, I see Spring as the time of year when we might feel more flirtatious and daring. We’re coming out of the Winter cave and feeling the need to be SEEN. Parts of our bodies that have been covered in coats and gloves and sweaters are now being kissed by sunlight and that can definitely be an aphrodisiac. It’s a great time to expand your sexual horizons by learning new sexual skills such as erotic talk, sensual massage, role-playing or Tantric sex. Having sex in Spring is refreshing as it’s warm enough not to shiver, but cool enough not to sweat. It’s so romantic to kiss while hearing the birds singing during a nature walk or feeding each other on a picnic at the park and it will make your Springtime more magical and memorable.

Summer

Summer dating brings people closer together because you’ve got the hot-weather lust, which makes it easier to be spontaneous, there’s more fun things to do and your sex appeal is smoking’. There is also biological evidence to prove that sunshine increases sex drive and makes you feel more sexually aroused. So, walk around your home naked to save money on air conditioning and put your undies in the freezer, then slip them on before you go out on a date. If you’re in a relationship, take advantage of the warm weather to add more sizzle to your love life. Take a cool shower together and soap each other up with shower gel. Then use your bodies as a human sponge and slide from side to side, up and down until you’re both squeaky clean. For the finale, give your lover a treat with some oral love. Making love outside can be even more exhilarating than doing it inside; Sex under the scorching sun is outrageously wild whether it’s spooning on a deserted beach or camping in your backyard, you’ll create erotic memories that you can share together for years to come.

Autumn

As Autumn presents itself, we start to pull each other close. While the colors start to fade on the trees, our passion settles a bit. What was a negligee may now be a flannel shirt and wool socks. By the way, Dutch scientists reported that women are 30% more likely to orgasm when their feet were warm, with socks on. We find ourselves doing the things to grasp the last vestiges of hot summer lovin’ while also beginning the pouty prep work for the Winter ahead. While the leaves fall, you too can fall in love or lust by rolling around in some just-raked leaves. As it gets darker earlier, it gives us more time to be romantic under the moonlight and as it gets lighter in the morning, it lends itself to more time for morning sex in bed or in the shower. Either way, it will make your days and nights during the Fall season more sexually fulfilling.

Winter

Winter brings days filled with the most darkness so, light a fire, snuggle close and keep each other warm anyway possible, even if that means rubbing bodies together like kindling. The more sex you have, the hotter you will get, so be sure to make love in all six basic positions; Missionary, Doggie, Cowgirl, Spooning, Standing and Scissors. And if you want to start a family, you are in luck because according to a new study out of Israel, doctors discovered that men with normal sperm production actually produced sperm in greater numbers, that was faster and with fewer abnormalities, in Winter. Perhaps this explains why August sees more babies born than any other month of the year.

So what are your thoughts? Do you believe in the concept of Sexual Seasons? Do you find that your sexuality evolves over the course of the year, or do you feel the same about sex on the Forth of July as you do on New Year’s Eve?

Of all the facets of our mental, physical and emotional lives, love is easily the most complicated. Love is exciting, overwhelming, terrifying, excruciating, exhausting, and exhilarating all at the same time. A majority of my work as a Loveologist® revolves around helping people to give and receive love and understand how it evolves through the course of a committed relationship. Everybody’s issue’s are unique depending upon their experiences, yet we all want to be loved, so my mission is to make love a priority in our lives by defining how to find love and maintain love until the end of time.

There’s been a lot of research on the subject of the stages of love, most notably by Biological Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, a Research Professor and member of the Center for Human Evolution Studies in the Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University. Fisher believes there are three phases of love: lust, romantic love and attachment, or “We’re strangers”, “We’re lovers”, and “We’re family.”

I agree with this concept, but also feel that it’s a bit incomplete, much like watching a romantic comedy where two people meet, date, fall in love, and then it ends with the promise of “happily ever after” though the concept of what that actually means is not really explored or explained. In truth is that where most romantic films end, is where most of the real love story begins.

So I have expanded upon Dr. Helen Fisher’s three stages of love with “The Five F.A.C.E.S. of Love”

F - Fascination

A - Adventure

C - Comfort

E - Energy

S - Success

The first step in a new relationship is based around Fascination with each other, giving off chemical signals that result in that infamous “spark” that lights up all of the senses. What is this spark and where does it come from? There are several lengthy studies about the psychological reasons for attraction but one of the major scientific reasons can be traced to pheromones – chemical signals released by humans that send subconscious messages regarding physical attraction.

Dr. Ivanka Savic of the Karolinska Institute found that the hormone-like smells “turn on” the brain’s hypothalamus, which is normally not activated by regular odors. This is a very important finding because it shows specific areas of the brain that are activated by these chemicals.

During this introductory phase of your romantic relationship, you play and carefully reveal various parts of your personality, testing the waters, and looking for signs that it’s okay to lower your guard enough to move into the next phase.

When Fascination evolves into the Adventure stage, the relationship takes off and you continue to be hot for each while exploring new passionate territory. It is in this phase you can’t get enough of each other and feel what is most commonly described as “madly in love.” This analogy is not so far from the truth, as Dr. Helen Fisher’s research shows that when you fall head over heels in love with someone, the primary portion of the brain that gets fired up is the ventral tegmental area – the region that creates the natural stimulant dopamine, giving you feelings of energy, craving and obsession. According to Dr. Fisher, this phase can last anywhere from six months to seven years.

As the relationship grows into the Comfort stage, many couples misread the feelings as falling “out of love” when, in reality, they are moving into a deeper habit forming love. While the stages of Fascination and Adventure are heavily based in lust, it is here in the Comfort that true love begins to take shape. A study by Montreal’s Concordia University shows that the portion of the brain that responds to sexual desire (the striatum) also responds to pleasures of food. In contrast, the area triggered by feelings of love (the insula) is involved in attaching value to the things that give us pleasure. This can explain why the feelings of lust can make you feel hungry while feelings of love can make you feel rich. As this chapter in the story of your relationship is explored, your partner truly feels like family. There is a safety with each other, a relaxing into a shared life. Sadly, this is where most break ups happen because people miss the excitement without realizing that the adventure isn’t over as much as it is being redefined.

For those lucky enough to reach the Energy stage, you are rewarded with a heightened union of intimacy that is known as Synchronized Energy eXchange. That’s S.E.X. And having sex with someone that you are deeply in love with brings sexual energy up through the body to the heart so that two hearts beat as one. In this stage of love, the long-term commitment hormone called Vasopressin is released and we feel the other person’s sensations, movements and emotions inside us. This is known as “mirror neurons” that bridge our brains and opens the way for powerful synergetic transactions. The life you have built will be clearly defined with an even deeper sense of commitment and the bond will feel unbreakable.

The final stage is one of Success, and love is the grand prize of life. There is no more powerful success than the success of two hearts linked by love. Serotonin, known as the happiness hormone mixed with feel good endorphins can help rediscover the sparks that first brought you together and it can feel like you are falling in love all over again. It’s important to remember that love is not a static emotion. It ebbs and flows, grows and changes as it evolves over time, much like the brain.

There will be days when love feels like it is overflowing and there will be days when it will seem like love is dispersing. And as days become months and months become years, how your relationship defines love will change. The spark will become a flame. The flame will become a fire. The fire will warm the heart. And if your hearts are open, there’s no end to the number of sparks it will find to keep your everlasting love alive.

Fascination, Adventure, Comfort and Energy are a powerful combination for Success in love, but you can also apply the concepts of NeuroLoveology and the FACES of love to being successful in your business and the rest of your life.

We are what we think we are and many times we live with the fear that if someone knew the truth that lives in our mind, we would prove ourselves to be unlovable.

The reality is, that we all carry just as much darkness as light because yin and yang is necessary in order to create balance. As mindful creatures, we have the ability to internalize emotions, thoughts, fears and desires that we have been taught are not normal by the influences of family, community, religion and the world at large. But whatever secret you think makes you an outcast, someone else is holding it, too. So, even if you find yourself standing outside the circle of the norm, if you take a moment to pause inside the courage of admission, you will always find that someone else will always join you, and that is the incredible power of “Me Too.”

If you doubt the reality of this, we live in a day and age where the proof is within a few clicks on a keyboard. Go to the Internet and type your darkest deepest secret into a search engine. I’m willing to bet you will find pages and pages of conversation, images, blogs and videos dedicated to the exact secret you might be forced to believe only lived within you.

This is most easy to prove in the realm of fetishes and taboos. While porn is obviously rampant on the Internet, it is just as easy to find intelligent, thought-provoking conversations, support groups, community posts, articles and research on literally anything you could possible imagine. For instance, typing the words “balloon fetish” in Google returns 3,890,000 results. That’s a lot of hot air!

Of course, I’m not suggesting that you live out your secret truths on cyberspace alone. It is important to bring the reality of who are into your breathing life and the people with whom you share it. What the Internet can do is give you the tools, information and confidence to take that step. And only in taking these steps to embrace all the colors of our individual rainbows can we find our way to the pot of gold that is discovered when we stand in spite of our wobbly knees and say “This is who I am” and experience the joy of seeing someone else raise a shaky hand with a nervous smile to say “Me, too.”

You have the power to make those changes, but the first step is to accept and take full responsibility for your own power.

The second and most important step is to have a positive attitude. A positive attitude is the latent power you have within you, to bring about what you want. It is your own personal “happy face” designed just for you. A positive attitude is your ally; it is on your side no matter what. That’s the reason you decide to look for it and adopt it. Your attitude is your response to the events in your life, so be careful not to overreact automatically. You cannot change other people, but you can change the way you view them, and they will most likely respond to your positive notions. The fact is that you have roughly 50,000 thoughts a day and you have the choice about what kind of attitude you are going to select. That choice can make or break your day, week, month, even your life. A positive attitude is more valuable than education, talent, wealth, and triumph. It can turn a failure into a success because if you react with a positive attitude, then things can only get better. Life continuously produces your feelings concerning it! Examine what choices you have been making for yourself unconsciously and make a conscious effort to focus on the positive side. Your positive attitude will be contagious especially if you make the time to personally thank everyone who is helpful, courteous, professional or good to you. To maintain a positive attitude you must practice, because it not only makes perfect, it perfects what it makes.

1. Write down as many causes as you can for feelings of poor self-image. It could be when someone said something unkind to you, or when you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, perhaps you feel weak when no one pays attention to you.
2. Stop criticizing yourself and replace negative feelings with appreciative ones.
3. List all of your accomplishments, big and small.
4. Identify all of the wonderful qualities that you have to bring to a friendship. Write them
   all down and look at them regularly.
5. Practice self-love by treating yourself as a valuable person. Pamper yourself every single day by doing something that makes you feel good.
6. Turn on your positive attitude switch and think with confidence. What personality and character would you need to possess to have the life you really want?
7. Decide how you would like to be perceived, then visualize yourself in a situation where you are standing tall, your head is held high, and you have all the personality that you want. Faking it at first is absolutely all right because soon you and your new persona will be as one.
8. Write down all the emotions you want as people react to you in a positive way.
9. What would you like your body image to express to others? Example: healthy, sexy, sophisticated, strong, etc. Say the answers out loud and then write them down.
10. Look at yourself from your feet to the top of your head, preferably naked. Pause at each part of your body. Don’t move upward until you identify something positive and say it out loud. Example: “My toes are perfectly shaped,” or “I love my shoulders.”
11. Say 3 affirmations before you start your day every day. Examples: “I am worthy of being loved” or “I’m a great catch for someone” or “I love and accept myself.” Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, 10 times each.
12. Imagine how it would feel if all your dreams came true. Now tap into that powerful emotion and carry this feeling with you throughout each day.

People make New Years Eve resolutions based on what they want to do to improve themselves. Get in shape. Quit smoking. Eat better. Valentine’s Day can be about making changes to improve your relationships, especially with the ones you love. More kindness. Listen better. Verbalize appreciation. Surprise with gifts that show I’m paying attention. Granted, a lot of New Year’s resolutions fail. Trips to the gym dwindle, cigarettes sneak back in, salad is replaced with pizza. The quick fix we were hoping for doesn’t arrive and old patterns return because they’re safe and comfortable. The difference with a “Love Resolution” is results are seen immediately and they can be life-changing and love-changing.

We are a species starving for validation and kindness. Most of us wrestle with an ongoing internal dialogue of self-doubt, questions, fear, anxiety, stress, and pain. Imagine how it might change your entire perception of life if someone were to show you only 5% more respect, love, trust and understanding. A sincere compliment out of nowhere. A five minute massage. A surprise “Date Night.” The difference between hearing “I love you” as someone holds your face and looks you in the eye versus tossing off the remark as the door shuts in the middle of morning chaos. If that’s what you want, than give it away. Only in love is that the rule. Because you cannot ask for a kindness that you are not willing to give.

It is much easier to rediscover the passion and love in your life than it is to get back into your “skinny jeans.” Because you’re sharing the resolutions with the intention of keeping them forever. You’re quitting the bad habits that endanger the health and growth of your relationship. And you’re tasting how amazing it feels to be truly seen again by the one you love.