12 Steps to Self-Esteem
POSTED ON: Feb 21 2013  • 

I believe that everyone has suffered from the feeling of poor self-image at sometime during his or her life. The negative feeling can affect confidence and self-esteem, which relate to all aspects of life, work, relationships and sexuality. Before you can begin to improve your self-image you must first believe that you can change it, and then conceive it and you will achieve it. Change doesn’t always happen quickly or easily, but it can and will happen if you really want it to.

You have the power to make those changes, but the first step is to accept and take full responsibility for your own power.

The second and most important step is to have a positive attitude. A positive attitude is the latent power you have within you, to bring about what you want. It is your own personal “happy face” designed just for you. A positive attitude is your ally; it is on your side no matter what. That’s the reason you decide to look for it and adopt it. Your attitude is your response to the events in your life, so be careful not to overreact automatically. You cannot change other people, but you can change the way you view them, and they will most likely respond to your positive notions. The fact is that you have roughly 50,000 thoughts a day and you have the choice about what kind of attitude you are going to select. That choice can make or break your day, week, month, even your life. A positive attitude is more valuable than education, talent, wealth, and triumph. It can turn a failure into a success because if you react with a positive attitude, then things can only get better. Life continuously produces your feelings concerning it! Examine what choices you have been making for yourself unconsciously and make a conscious effort to focus on the positive side. Your positive attitude will be contagious especially if you make the time to personally thank everyone who is helpful, courteous, professional or good to you. To maintain a positive attitude you must practice, because it not only makes perfect, it perfects what it makes.

  1. Write down as many causes as you can for feelings of poor self-image. It could be when someone said something unkind to you, or when you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, perhaps you feel weak when no one pays attention to you.
  2. Stop criticizing yourself and replace negative feelings with appreciative ones.
  3. List all of your accomplishments, big and small.
  4. Identify all of the wonderful qualities that you have to bring to a friendship. Write them
    all down and look at them regularly.
  5. Practice self-love by treating yourself as a valuable person. Pamper yourself every single day by doing something that makes you feel good.
  6. Turn on your positive attitude switch and think with confidence. What personality and character would you need to possess to have the life you really want?
  7. Decide how you would like to be perceived, then visualize yourself in a situation where you are standing tall, your head is held high, and you have all the personality that you want. Faking it at first is absolutely all right because soon you and your new persona will be as one.
  8. Write down all the emotions you want as people react to you in a positive way.
  9. What would you like your body image to express to others? Example: healthy, sexy, sophisticated, strong, etc. Say the answers out loud and then write them down.
  10. Look at yourself from your feet to the top of your head, preferably naked. Pause at each part of your body. Don’t move upward until you identify something positive and say it out loud. Example: “My toes are perfectly shaped,” or “I love my shoulders.”
  11. Say 3 affirmations before you start your day every day. Examples: “I am worthy of being loved” or “I’m a great catch for someone” or “I love and accept myself.” Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, 10 times each.
  12. Imagine how it would feel if all your dreams came true. Now tap into that powerful emotion and carry this feeling with you throughout each day.

Love Resolutions
POSTED ON: Feb 15 2013  • 

Do you exhale a sigh of relief once Valentine’s Day is over and think “Thank goodness THAT’S over?” It can be easier to understand just wanting to get through the holiday if you’re single, but if you’re in a relationship what exactly are you grateful to have over? The reminder that you’re in a partnership that takes some work? Well, if that’s the case, Valentine’s Day could be seen as a chance to make some much needed “Love Resolutions.”

People make New Years Eve resolutions based on what they want to do to improve themselves. Get in shape. Quit smoking. Eat better. Valentine’s Day can be about making changes to improve your relationships, especially with the ones you love. More kindness. Listen better. Verbalize appreciation. Surprise with gifts that show I’m paying attention. Granted, a lot of New Year’s resolutions fail. Trips to the gym dwindle, cigarettes sneak back in, salad is replaced with pizza. The quick fix we were hoping for doesn’t arrive and old patterns return because they’re safe and comfortable. The difference with a “Love Resolution” is results are seen immediately and they can be life-changing and love-changing.

We are a species starving for validation and kindness. Most of us wrestle with an ongoing internal dialogue of self-doubt, questions, fear, anxiety, stress, and pain. Imagine how it might change your entire perception of life if someone were to show you only 5% more respect, love, trust and understanding. A sincere compliment out of nowhere. A five minute massage. A surprise “Date Night.” The difference between hearing “I love you” as someone holds your face and looks you in the eye versus tossing off the remark as the door shuts in the middle of morning chaos. If that’s what you want, than give it away. Only in love is that the rule. Because you cannot ask for a kindness that you are not willing to give.

It is much easier to rediscover the passion and love in your life than it is to get back into your “skinny jeans.” Because you’re sharing the resolutions with the intention of keeping them forever. You’re quitting the bad habits that endanger the health and growth of your relationship. And you’re tasting how amazing it feels to be truly seen again by the one you love.

 

Don’t Lose your Mind over Valentine’s Day
POSTED ON: Feb 14 2013  • 

On one of the most exciting days of the year, we find so many people in a state of frustration and anxiety that the true essence of Valentine’s Day can easily get lost.

Can I get the perfect reservation for a romantic evening or did I  wait too long? What can I buy my special someone that will reflect my caring and love? Or did I wait too long for that as well? Will the Chocolates, flowers, or lingerie share my real feelings?

All of these thoughts got me thinking. Where did Valentine’s Day actually come from? Who came up with this brilliant idea? Was it someone with the last name of Hallmark? Actually it was the Romans and it seems when in Rome do as the Romans do.

The Romans came up with this special day in the form of a game show. With the women’s’ names placed in a box, the men would draw from it to find their next female companion for the next year. Perhaps they called it “Box of Fortune?”

This 800-year-old tradition was brought to an end by the Roman Catholics as they wanted to take Valentine’s Day in a whole new direction, so they went Hollywood with an exhaustive casting mission to find the perfect Saint. They wound up choosing Bishop Valentine, who was secretly performing marriage ceremonies. However he paid the ultimate price for fame and lost his head in the process when he was decapitated by the emperor who outlawed marriage because he thought it made men poor soldiers.

So the moral of the story is, if you ever feel you’re losing your mind over Valentine’s Day, make sure you don’t lose your head.