The Loveology University Original Orgasm Internet Survey analyzes Orgasm in America, Current Beliefs and Practices designed by Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D., and Dr. Ava Cadell, for www.LoveologyUniversity.com. The survey featured 27 questions which included basic demographics such as gender, age, sexual orientation and marital status followed by others that targeted respondents’ sexual practices and beliefs regarding orgasm.
Based on a 27-question Internet survey of 1,053 men and women, gender, age and cultural differences figure strongly in performance, incidence of multiple orgasm, faking of orgasm, simultaneous orgasm via penile vaginal intercourse and means by which orgasm can be achieved and enhanced. Female respondents in their middle years (30-35) were the most likely to fake orgasm with their partners and had the lowest levels of gender alignment in reporting the incidence of simultaneous orgasm. Our respondents overwhelmingly believe there is a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms (64.3% male and 73% female) while our oldest respondents (36-69) were the least likely to believe that it’s possible for females to reach orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation (76.1% male and 77.2% female). Orgasmic enhancements were highly gender-based except for those who practice tantric sex (16.4% male and 17.4% female). High gender differentiations were seen with use of stop-start techniques (70.6% of males vs. 40.3% of females) and activation of the pubococcygeus muscle (25.6% males vs. 60.2% females). Being a voluntary survey that attracted sexual explorers there were impressively high rates of female ejaculation (46.4%) and non-ejaculatory male orgasm (44.8%). Nearly half (46%) agreed that sex could be satisfying without orgasm with another 43.7% claiming “it depends” on things like emotional connection, love and rewarding touch.
Our findings reveal a wide range of beliefs and practices regarding what women require to achieve orgasm, the likelihood for couples to achieve simultaneous through penile vaginal intercourse and what techniques are useful for orgasm enhancement. Regarding female orgasm, we’re left with two schools of thought. One is that exercising the pubococcygeus muscle through kegel exercises and/or use of a pelvic floor toner can enable a woman to orgasm through penile vaginal intercourse while the other is that a majority of women require direct clitoral stimulation (apart from or in conjunction with penile vaginal intercourse) in order to achieve orgasm. Ultimately, both of these approaches to female erotic fulfillment require cultural learning via sex education and facility in partner communication. With increased availability of sex information via the Internet and the ease in which the current culture of Hooking Up enables experience with a variety of partners, young people know more about sexual functioning than previous American generations.
Respondents in their early 30s reported the lowest levels of communication with their partners re: the rates in which females fake orgasm and males believe a simultaneous orgasm has occurred. This cohort is most likely to be consumed with family building – either finding a mate to start a family, generating or maintaining a positive connection with such a mate, or the often selfless job of parenting. Especially for parents of babies and young children, sleep may be far more desired than a simultaneous splashy orgasm.
Respondents aligned with erotic subcultures which focus on tantric practices, female ejaculation and male non-ejaculatory orgasm, challenge our surveys general findings that the female orgasm requires direct clitoral stimulation and that orgasm is largely a physical experience. Ultimately, this raises the question of what kind of sex education should we be offering our youth. Do we focus on breathing techniques and eye gazing (as tantric practitioners do) or do we make sure that every girl has access to a pleasing vibrator? Do we encourage beliefs that sex without orgasm is satisfying and that it takes females longer to reach orgasm than males or do we create education campaigns to encourage the use of (female) pelvic toners?
While much of the focus on this survey has been on the challenges of aligning the female sexual response with that of males, an area for fruitful sex education would be to educate males how to gain more sensation and fulfillment from their orgasms. With a quarter of our male respondents reporting that the duration of their orgasms was between two and five seconds, it’s unlikely they have access to a set of skills that might enable greater levels of fulfillment and ultimately deeper bonding with their partners.
If more people cared as much about orgasms as they do about politics ours would be a more peaceful world. Female, 55
No other experience in life can match the ecstasy of really good sex with the woman I love. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does…wow! Male, 61
For most of my life the only way I could orgasm was with a vibrator. After a breakup of a 22-year relationship, I wanted to learn to come without a vibrator. Through a combination of tantra with Margo Anand, Patti Taylor, Jan Robinson, Carla Tara, The Welcomed Consensus videos and teaching myself I learned to have energy orgasms, hour long orgasms, orgasms without touch, O from intercourse, O while lying next to a lover or being woken from sleep cumming and from doing oral sex on a man. Female, 57
The more people realize that an orgasm is a very personal experience … the less people feel compelled to compare or judge … the more we can all open to the natural energetic “pump” of living in blissful union with all of life in all its symphonic expressions. Male, 52
Sex is a basic need, like food and shelter. I talk to my three sons that they need to be having good sex, even if it’s just masturbating. All men laugh at this, because they say boys already know this, but I want to make sure that they didn’t have any guilt attached to masturbating. Female, 43
I believe for women to experience the best sex possible, the man must go round after round, so that the woman has the best chances of obtaining orgasm after orgasm, since each round will continue to grow longer & longer in time, with non-stop penetration a woman’s chance of actually experiencing numerous orgasms, increases substantially! Male, 58
I have only had an orgasm four times in my whole life; I’m trying to find out ways to be able to have more. Female, 33
I can have up to 25 orgasms in 1 hour. Female, 36
The best Os occur when you prep yourself mentally over a period of time. The anticipation generates the intensity. Mine start in my belly button area. As I ejaculate I envision a piston pressing down as I feel it flow through my stomach area through past my insides and prostate and through my vas deferens and out. Male, 58
I experience what I call an orgasmic wave, which seems to be multiple orgasms that go on and on – but which sometimes leaves me wondering whether I ever really came, since it sometimes doesn’t come to a definite conclusion (as if I came, but immediately started back up again). Female, 60
I think my orgasms have become more intense and longer lasting, but not as easy to achieve, as I have gotten older. Male, 60
I’m over 60 and having more satisfying sex on a regular basis than I’ve ever had in my life… including the ‘free love’ hippie days when I was in my 20′s! Female, 65
Sex is pleasure, with or without orgasm. Male, 58
Over time, I’ve changed so that I’m much more vaginally orgasmic, but these tend to be very hard to define, since it’s not always a simple clear single orgasm. About six years ago I began to have ejaculatory orgasms. I’ve also experienced half- hour to hour-long orgasms or collections of orgasms, depending on how you think about it. It’s hard to pin down a “typical” orgasm length for me, as they can range anywhere from a few seconds to a couple of minutes on a regular basis, with not-uncommon longer sessions if I have the time. Female, 46