A MINDFUL VALENTINE’S DAY

POSTED ON: Feb 03 2013  • 

Mindfulness is paying attention here and now with an open heart and mind. So, how about practicing the art of mindfulness this Valentine’s Day. It seems that Valentine’s Day has become a holiday of great pressure. Those in relationships feel the pressure to deliver the perfect date with the perfect gift while single people feel the pressure of a spotlight on their less than perfect relationship status. Valentine’s Day is the one day where everyone – even the most jaded – secretly wants their life to look and feel like a Hollywood romance. However, like a lot of things in human nature, we miss the point because we fear how we are being perceived. This year I suggest we use Valentine’s Day as a reminder to simply acknowledge the existence and beauty of love in all its forms.

Instead of feeling devastated because you can’t get a reservation at the best restaurant in town, why not just take a moment to think about the person you most love and let them know in a way that is specific and genuine to your relationship with that person. And, yes, this advice applies to single people. In fact, the reality is we are all “single people”, some of us just share space with other single people in closer proximity. We share our lives, not our individual realities, fears, doubts, desires, and dreams. So why not start the day with THAT relationship. If the old adage is true that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself, why not take a moment to do just that. Acknowledge all the things that make you loveable and your life amazing. Give quiet thanks for the gifts you’ve been given, the qualities that bring you the most compliments, the things you can do better than anyone, even if no one yet knows it but you. Open up your mind to the reality of how much love fills your life, if maybe not your bed (at least today).

Perhaps Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a reminder of romance but a reminder of kindness, starting with the conscious decision to be nice to yourself. Treat yourself as if you were madly in love with you. Be mindful of yourself and others. Hug somebody. Hold the door. Talk more softly and listen more openly. Give a smile before you give a judgment. Call someone to just say hello. Take the time to really look around at all the things you usually rush by. If you are in a romantic relationship, REALLY look at your partner. See them. Touch them. Thank them. Love them as carefully and passionately as you can. And if you’re spending the day without a date, so what? That doesn’t mean your life lacks love, it just means that the extraordinary one who is looking for you hasn’t found you yet. But you better be ready, because they’re on their way.

That’s how I’ll spend this Valentine’s Day – celebrating the fact that love puts the “awe” in awesome.

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My Gratitude List

POSTED ON: Nov 28 2010  • 
CATEGORIES:  Kissing

I am so thankful for all that I have in my life that I thought this would be a perfect time to share my gratitude list as Thanksgiving weekend is coming to an end. I never imagined my life could be this perfect in my wildest dreams, so I am filled with gratitude for the obstacles that I had to overcome and the rocky road that lead me to my happiness and success.

I am so grateful to my husband Peter who gives me the love that I need and the support to follow my passions.

I am grateful for being in good health, despite occasional pain which I have learned to view as a gift. This has taught me to help others deal and manage their pain.

I am grateful to the people who hire me for my expertise and I will always give them more than they expect. Thank you Greg at Evolved and Sol at System JO.

I am grateful to organizations like the YPO and EO who book me as their Keynote Speaker, as I’m inspired by their entrepreneurial spirit and am always ready, willing and able to motivate them to make love a priority in their lives.

I am grateful to my Step-Son Chance who keeps my company organized and for all of my wonderful assistants who I have mentored, whom I also consider as family.

I am grateful to my students from all of the world who want to learn about love, relationships, romance, intimacy and sex by enrolling in www.LoveologyUniversity.com where I can share my 20 years of knowledge.

I am grateful to the producers who give me a platform on their TV shows to reach the masses with my message of healthy love, intimacy and sex. Look for me on The Doctors before Xmas and on HBO’s The Cat House next year.

I am grateful for my loyal friends Christine, Pamela, Christina, Paul, Gurutej and Hernando who convince me to take a break from work to meet for lunch or Happy Hour drinks.

I am grateful to be living and loving my life, sharing it with you and hoping that I can impact your life in a positive way.

Yin and Yang Sexual Energy

POSTED ON: Sep 05 2010  • 

The Yin force is commonly associated with women focusing on sensuality and the pleasure of the moment while the Yang force is often dominant in men focusing more on the climax rather than the journey.  But to experience the full enjoyment of lovemaking, I believe the male and female forces should be balanced with a combination of both Yin and Yang energy.

To say that men are all one way and women are another is too simplistic.  We can generalize by saying that many women display predominantly feminine characteristics, such as being sensual, passive, nurturing, loving, vulnerable, sensitive, compassionate, and receptive.  And generally, men display masculine qualities such as being sexual, active, controlling, strong, motivating, confident, assertive and protective.  Yet, in some successful relationships, the woman is the masculine force and the man more feminine.  Between them, balance and harmony have been achieved.

In our relationships, people seek completeness by choosing partners who complement their energy.  Some couples, after being together for many years, even look and act alike.  They have taken on each others characteristics and found a middle ground between the polar extremes of Yin and Yang.

Like most balanced forces throughout the world whether it is light and dark, hot and cold, wet and dry or positive and negative, there are two essential principles to lovemaking known as Yin and Yang.

In sexuality, it is equally important for each person to blend, within his or herself, activities that are considered Yin or Yang.  The following are considered Yin (female) activities:  flirting, tender kissing, feeding each other, eye gazing, synchronized breathing, sensual massage, hugging, communicating, and bathing each other.  On the other hand, these are considered Yang (male) activities:  deep kissing, oral love, G-spot stimulation, erotic talk, using sex toys, intercourse, sexual massage and orgasm.

See how different the Yin and Yang activities are?  And how much fun it can be to “mix and match” them in each of us?  For example, we all have our “light and dark” moods.  Think of it this way:  if the sun shone all the time, we would never sleep; but if we had no sunshine, we would become lethargic and depressed from the darkness.  So it is with each person sexually:  we can’t be the same all the time.  For instance, we can alternate tender kissing with deep kissing, and alternate eye gazing with erotic talk.  Think about the Yin and Yang sexual activities I’ve listed, and see which ones you would combine to express yourself sexually.

Remember, opposites can attract.  It is the combination of who we are and how we give and receive that makes for joyous sex, like the erotic blend of light and dark chocolate!

For more information on Yin and Yang sexual energy, check out the Tantric Sex course at www.LoveologyUniversity.com