What will Sandra Bullock say about her marriage to Jesse James? Is the girl-next-door with bad-boy love story over? Or will she reveal dynamics about their relationship boundaries that we didn’t know?
As a Sexologist in Hollywood, I counsel celebrity couples who are away from each other more than they are together. Consequently, many have specific relationship boundaries in place about who can do what and with whom while they are separated.
So before we jump to conclusions, let’s consider that maybe Sandra gave Jesse a long leash to play during her months of working on location. Often a very wise choice in Hollywood. However the deal breaker is usually when one of the spouses humiliates the other in public, which Jesse did, even though it wasn’t deliberate.
Cheaters deserve the same respect as anyone else when it comes to communicating all boundaries and deal breakers.
The bottom line is that if you are going to play (with your spouses permission), you should still be discreet and by that I mean don’t have sex in your home. Don’t text messages that you don’t want your spouse to ever see and choose your playmates carefully.
Sandra Bullock dedicated the past five years of her life to a man and his children, knowing the nature of the beast. He was once married to a beautiful porn star and fathered her child, he was unconventional and lived dangerously, so it was either that bad boy element which attracted her or she felt that she could tame the stallion.
Crazy as it may sound, a cheating spouse can be as much a wake-up call as it is heartache and devastation. Even if you are the most attentive, skilled lover, there is still no guarantee that your partner will not stray. The fact is that the most common reason for infidelity is not sex, but a lack of communication and emotional stimulation. Therefore, the most important ingredient for a lasting, loving relationship is great communication.
So we wait with baited breath to find out what the Academy Award winning Actress will decide to do about her marriage. She holds all the cards and maybe we can all learn something about our own relationships by observing how celebrities deal with theirs as the world scrutinizes them under a microscope.