Celebrity Break-Up Lessons

POSTED ON: Jan 08 2012  • 

Why do celebrity couples get married to each other when the odds are stacked up against them? From power struggles to jealousy, inflated egos to insecure hang-ups, many celebrity marriages do not have happy endings like a Hallmark movie. Here are four valuable lessons we can learn from some notable Hollywood divorces.

1. Clashing Egos

Certainly when a talented Actress wins an Oscar for Best Actress, her husband had better be damn secure if he is not in the limelight. Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet all got divorced after winning the acclaimed award. None of these women should be married to another celebrity who is insecure, jealous, egotistical, competitive and feels entitled to cheat when he is unsatisfied in their relationship. They need a proud, supportive, successful, sympathetic partner with high esteem who they respect.

2. Distance Detachment

Long distance relationships don’t make for successful marriages, especially when the celebrity’s sex life is unfulfilled. There is always ample temptation to cheat and when horny, even celebs don’t think about the disastrous consequences. Actress Demi Moor and Actor Ashton Kutcher’s marriage failed when he fell prey to infidelity, even though they dated for two years before they got married. Many people blame the 16-year age difference, but I think the worship of their mutual celebrity impacted the destruction of their relationship.

3. Opposites Don’t Last

Opposites may attract initially, but they don’t always make for a long lasting relationship, especially in the case of British Actor Russell Brand and American pop star, Katy Perry who were only married for 14-months.  He was a recovered hard partying heroin and sex addict and she was an all American daughter of an ultra religious upbringing by Evangelists Church minsters.  It didn’t take long before they both realized they had totally different lifestyles with different taste in different things. They didn’t even like each others friends and they didn’t want to live in the same country. Perhaps they should have discussed their differences before they wed.

4. Power Struggles

A recipe for an unhappy marriage is when one successful celebrity tries to dominate the other without their approval. This may be evident in the relationship between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, an equally hot and talented couple that looked like the perfect family with their twins. Everyone was rooting for their marriage to work, but these two strong personalities may have found the constant struggle for power impacting their love life and even the raising of their children. Now they are competing as they have both moved on with younger lovers.

Watch me talk about J. Lo and Marc’s power struggle on Access Hollywood.
http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/DrAvaPages/nbc-accesshollywood-20120105.html

Jesse James Denies he is a Sex Addict

POSTED ON: May 26 2010  • 

Jesse James used his bad childhood as an excuse for cheating, saying that he “never felt good enough” on last night’s Nightline interview. By not being good enough, I’m presuming that he is saying that he didn’t feel worthy of being married to Oscar winning Actress Sandra Bullock, but he did feel worthy of having sex with at least five other women.

Jesse James was raised by his single dad who allegedly beat, humiliated and at age seven broke his arm. So Jesse says he grew up with feelings of shame, fear and abandonment which is what lead to his trying to “self-sabotage” his life.

My theory is that many adults were abused physically, emotionally and even sexually as children but were able to overcome adversity by empowering themselves to take responsibility for their actions and not use their past as an excuse for bad behavior.

The cause of Jesse’s infidelity was probably more to do with his hormones than anything else. You see relationships go through three stages of emotions and hormone changes that affect our sex drive. The first stage is  LUST which releases the sexual hormones testosterone and estrogen. In this stage, you feel excited by the thought of your lover and eager to be with them as much as you can.

Stage two is the ROMANTIC ATTRACTION stage where your brain is now releasing the feel good hormone, dopamine that can make you feel lovesick.

Stage three is EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT where the brain releases Serotonin and Oxytocin, bonding hormones that can deepen the feelings of attachment. However, at this stage  the lust and the romantic attraction stages fade, so it is not uncommon to look for those lustful and romantic feelings elsewhere.

So it’s probable that Jesse and Sandra were in the Attachment stage of their relationship, so he was vulnerable to the temptations of lust when it was flaunted at him.

The bottom line is that if you don’t evoke the feelings of lust, attraction and romance in your relationship, it will become less sexual and you or your partner are more likely to stray and cheat with someone new who gives you the thrill of excitement that you crave.

If you want to understand Cheating, check out my book at:

http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/DrAvaPages/luguide-cheating.html